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Thursday, July 7, 2011

A Letter to My Thesis

Dear Thesis,

We've had a rocky relationship for the past two years.
It's been off again, on again.
It's been start and stop.
You haunt me in my sleep.
You evade me when I'm awake.
I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
The "blue box" for National Board Certification wasn't this bad!
Or maybe it was but I've blocked it all out...who knows?
At any rate, you're about to defeat me.
You reduced me to a sobbing heap on the sofa today.
That wasn't pretty, and my eyes are still puffy and sore.
(I'm glad Gloria was off playing at a friend's house today!)
I just don't know if I have any fight left in me.

It shouldn't be this hard...I love to write, and I'm passionate about my topic.
I just can't find the words.
The words I do find...they don't say what I want to say.
My thoughts are a jumbled mess.
My notes are in even worse shape.
We can't take a break from each other because the clock is ticking on the little bit of time we do have left.
There's part of me that wants to go ahead and throw in the towel.
Call it quits.
Let you win.
Not to mention regain the use of my dining room table again!

But then I think about the disappointment that would bring--to me and to others.
And I can't let that happen.
So, as Scarlett would say...tomorrow is another day.
I'll swim with Gloria, do a little grocery shopping, take a deep breath, and tackle you anew.
Be prepared, dear thesis, because I'm not going down without a fight.

1 comment:

Karen said...

You go get 'em girl - YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!